As a teen, a traumatic event and a breakup sent Sam Payne’s life spiralling out of control. For over a decade, she was addicted to methamphetamine feeling invincible and convinced she didn’t have a problem. At rock bottom, she found herself left with nothing and spent two years in jail on remand.
Today Sam is clean, recovered and helping others.
Early Life
Growing up I was the oldest out of 4 siblings. We had a pretty good upbringing until I started growing up and exploring, I got into trouble a lot. I started dabbling in and selling weed and party pills which gave me my first addiction to money as it was the only thing that made me feel happy. Home life got rocky and unsettled so I became rebellious… Moved out at 16 with my boyfriend at the time, it was a very stable normal relationship but he was a bit older and I wanted to get out and be a teenager so I did… Met a “bad boy” and it all went from there. First smoked meth at 18 and everything spiralled from there. I lost my job and was on the benefit. My boyfriend started to beat me up , controlling what I did even what I wore. That relationship ended with me in hospital with a messed up face.
After that I turned straight to meth and all my beliefs had changed, I know longer trusted or cared about men and became very cold. Moving to Christchurch my habit became huge, I smoked all day everyday and started going out for dinners and coffees with men for money. I got involved with serious criminals, gang members and more abusive men, I never had a rest so after a couple years of that I was tired so I moved to Nelson.
My habit got a bit smaller as my income wasn’t the same so I got a job and started to study real estate. After a while I vacate bored so I moved to Motueka, started working at a pub/restaurant and within 3 months I was manager.
I met a man whilst working at pub and we just clicked, coming from controlling relationships this was far from that, meth was very heavily involved again so with a job that I loved, a man that I couldn’t fault and a lifestyle I loved just seemed to good to be true, and that it was…
2017 my pub was raided, 200k cash was found there, my partner and I took off to Christchurch one week later and was searched by police with 1.4kg of meth in the car. Here I was having no idea what’s happening, I was devastated about loosing my job now my partner has been arrested and I’m on bail for Tasmans biggest meth bust of 1.4 million.
My whole world stopped and all I could lean on was meth.. I lost everything and now I have to tell my family. After a while I moved to Invercargill, I was that lost that I ended up not really caring about much so I continued to do meth daily and selling it also more toxic relationships, I was really at my worst at this point! Something had to happen…
2018 I went to jail on 54 drug convictions.
Now I’m sitting in prison sober and facing all the problems I avoided over the last 10 + years and also facing my family which was the hardest. I spent 2 years in there and then went to He Kete residential in Christchurch.
I knew something had to change, my life was going nowhere, I didnt want to spend my life in and out of jail and I was genuinely unhappy so I put in the work at rehab and learnt so much about myself and who I really am… it was a lot of work and still now life can be tough but I’m actually living now not just existing!
Now I’m 2 years clean with a 1 year old boy, he is my biggest blessing. I have started my own company as a motivational speaker and also doing my own therapy for people that are ready to break the cycle. I want to use a different approach to what is being used and help addicts find there real purpose…
If I can do it then you can!
– Sam Payne
Speaking is my medicine! Expressing my journey to people from prisons to schools and parents to teachers and just the every day New Zealander! Voicing some truths about meth addiction, the illness affecting our society and using a raw and real approach is going to get peoples attention, right?
Breaking down your addiction from way back to your childhood, unpacking some trauma and finding your emotions again but most of all finding yourself again which will give you purpose and connection! It’s all about plans, goals and structure so break that cycle. You ready?
Tel: 027 376 2650
Email: sam@aftermeth.co.nz
